With all that is going on in the world today—politics, conflict, the economy— understandably, many individuals find themselves caught in a cycle of repetitive and distressing thoughts. Often, these ruminative thoughts are focused on the future, be it the next hour, next day, next year or “forever”. Some ruminations are more stuck in the past. An example you might also be familiar with is replaying a conversation in your mind, wondering what you could have said or done differently, what- if anything - you could have changed. You might wonder if you offended or hurt someone, and what comes next. This is Rumination. Rumination is when you experience excessive worry, repetitive thinking or find yourself focusing primarily if not solely on distressing thoughts. It usually involves becoming fixated on negative experiences and is accompanied by worry, self/criticism and overanalyzing. Many people may not realize they are doing this as it often becomes a habitual pattern that they chalk up to merely “overthinking” but the truth is, this repetitive thought pattern is not effective and can dampen your ability to get things done, negatively impacting your psychological and physical health. While occasional reflection is normal and can be beneficial as we look back at things in order to learn from them, rumination often involves brooding and tends to affect our productivity and quality of life. While rumination isn’t a disorder itself, it can be part of anxiety, depression, and insomnia, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), as well as grief and despair. Rumination is often used by us humans as a way of avoiding the experience of feelings such as anxiety, overwhelm, sadness, shame and others. When connected to OCD, compulsive behaviors can be part of the picture.
Identifying Rumination
At times, it can be challenging to identify what is a healthy reflection and analysis and what are more problematic, sticky thoughts. In fact, that’s often at the crux of things. We all experience hundreds of thoughts every day. Most of them we don’t even notice as we go about our day. Practice checking in with yourself at various points of the day. Maybe you are just thinking about your upcoming lunch, new car you want to buy or your to - do list. See what you notice when being more intentional. At the same time, the fact that we barely notice some of our thoughts throughout the day is not necessarily a bad thing. This can include even more catastrophic thoughts like “it’s hurricane season, we could get hit by hurricane”. For many folks, this too can be just another thought. And yet, folks predisposed to anxiety and OCD, depression and other concerns are not necessarily able to just keep moving with their day. These thoughts just feel a lot stickier. In fact, for some of us the very effort of trying to make these thoughts go away or stop, is exactly what makes them stick even more and then cause distress about “what is wrong with me”. The thoughts that may follow, include “Why did I do or say that?”, “What if this really happens and I can’t help it in any way?” “ Something is really wrong with me then.” It can snowball from there. You may even ask yourself — Why can’t I stop thinking about this? Why am I overthinking this situation? Why? Why? Why? How could it be? This can go on and on, difficult to practice thought interruption and moving with your day. Again, for some folks this can be part of the picture of Anxiety and OCD, Depression, Neurodiversity and other concerns. Grief is one of them.
Stages of Grief and its Relation to Rumination
The emotional distress from significant events like sudden job loss, relationship breakups, health scares, loss of a loved one or major political changes can trigger rumination at various stages of our response. With grief, we look at the various stages of the grieving process and how rumination shows up. Shock and Denial: You may initially be in shock or denial about an event. For instance, losing in an important event, losing a job, facing an unexpected loss of a loved one - all can be overwhelming, leading to disbelief and a refusal or inability to accept reality. When ruminating during this stage, you may find yourself thinking—”This can’t be happening”. Bargaining: This is a stage that can be particularly prone to rumination. You might be engaging in “what if” scenarios, thinking about how things could have been different IF you had taken an alternative course of action or made different decisions. Common thoughts include— “If only I/ we had done this differently”. These thoughts can be connected to feelings of guilt, regret, fear. Anger: As the reality of a situation sets in, anger may surface. This anger might be directed toward yourself, others or the situation in general. When ruminating during this stage, you may ask— “Why did this happen?” or “Why is life so unfair?” , escalating the situation. Depression: In this stage,you might ruminate on the unfairness of the situation or even perceived failures. You might be-preoccupied with the negative aspects of the situation. At times we may even get to thoughts like: ”I can’t go on” or “Life will never be the same”. These thoughts can also be part of suicidal ideation and seeking help is important. Nobody does this alone and help is available, from personal to professional support. Our office is happy to assist and support you and there are resources available 24 hrs a day. In crisis, calling various crisis lines including suicide prevention hotline at 988, or 911 and going to the nearest emergency room may be needed. Acceptance: Coming to terms with the situation and finding a way to move forward, reconnecting with meaning in life, no matter how small or large at the moment. This involves acceptance of what is and finding direction and courage within it, rediscovering meaning and within the dark. Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting or ignoring such a significant event but rather, acknowledging, moving through grief and rediscovering life and joy around it, no longer being consumed just by grief or rumination. In therapy, we help you process all of this, provide effective support and coping strategies. Additional tools include: Mindfulness and Meditation: Practicing mindfulness and participating in meditation can help us to visit and stay in the present moment when possible, reducing the prevalence and severity of rumination.. Many folks start with guided practices and even mantras - as initially it may be difficult to just be with your mind and experiences. Somatic Approaches: help us navigate emotional and physical experiences in a healing way, processing pain and trauma. Many therapy approaches incorporate mind-body connection and at Lotus Consulting our providers offer modalities such as cognitive behavioral therapies, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, EMDR, Internal Family Systems and more. Physical Activity: This includes various types and levels of Yoga and other movement modalities, sports, and body based practices. Physical activity can help reduce stress and improve mood. Exercise promotes the release of endorphins, which can counteract the negative effects of rumination as well. Social Support: Talking to friends, family or a therapist about your concerns can provide emotional relief and new perspectives. Just watch how your conversations and activities evolve. If they are only stimulating more rumination, sadness, anger or other difficult experiences, opt out of those if you can or connect with us on building boundaries around these. We are committed to effectively supporting folks through these challenges. If you find yourself struggling with rumination or feel otherwise stuck, reach out to us.