Why Do New Year's Resolutions Fail?
With 88% of New Year's resolutions failing within the first two weeks (Baylor College of Medicine), why do some of us persist with setting (New Year’s) resolutions? Are you one of us? How has it been working for you? Any successes or flops? What do you make of it?
Setting Ourselves Up for Disappointment
Do some of us set ourselves up for disappointment? Certainly. Often this can be due to rigid, high-pressure and otherwise overwhelming commitments, without a step by step roadmap in place and clearly flashed out WHY behind it all. After all, it’s very different to say “I want to stop smoking” versus “I will stop smoking because I want to see my kids grow up, be in their wedding…”, and then set the first few steps accordingly. This may include getting rid of the vape first.
Embracing Change Anytime
Let Go of January 1
Let’s let go of the idea that it has to be on January 1, even though, for some of us the symbolism of new beginnings feels especially poignant in the new year, and that’s ok!
Jumpstart Change Anytime
Jumpstart change anywhere/any time and prepare for obstacles. Lasting change often happens in the small micromovements of each day, when nobody is watching. Consistency plays an important part.
Practical Steps for Lasting Change
Show Up for Yourself
It doesn’t have to be perfect but we gotta show up for ourselves. Keep it simple. Often, just a couple of words can capture our vision.
Enhance the “Fresh Start Effect”
Enhance the "fresh start effect" by first looking back on what has and has not worked for you and, more importantly, how that made you FEEL. We are not looking for analysis paralysis here. Lean into what that felt like. Feel it.
Look Ahead
From there, look ahead and decide how you WANT to feel and what you want to see moving forward. Let yourself FEEL both.
Visualization and Guided Imagery
You can add visualization and guided imagery, embodying your experience. Athletes and performers use imagery and visualisation with great success.
Utilizing DBT for Change
At Lotus, our DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) providers can also teach you Cope Ahead, a step by step method to guide you through every detail of that experience, the good/ bad, the struggle, the victory. "Cope Ahead Skill", includes mentally rehearsing a scenario from start to finish, including the obstacles and how you overcome them. It goes beyond just thinking about it. If you would like to practice Cope Ahead with us, get in touch. We practice with many of our clients and various scenarios, whether it’s difficult life situations you would like to manage better or plan out a desired change.
Practicing Visualization on Your Own
Key Points for Visualization
If you want to practice a bit of visualization on your own, here are some key points to anchor that practice in. You can use some of these key elements and we recommend audio recording yourself first, so that you can just listen to this when practicing. Be mindful of your pace and pauses. Include prompts imagining points such as:
- Starting, continuing toward, and ultimately reaching your goal
- Include images that come up for you, and all of the experiences along the way. How does it feel?
- Include obstacles too. See yourself getting through them and moving forward. Feel it, smell it, sense it, hear it. See yourself reaching your goal?
Using Visualization for Obstacles
On the topic of obstacles, one of our successful athletes incorporates being pulled by a bungee cord attached to a runner in front of her when struggling in her race, the expected struggle and the expected spot.
Finding Your Motivation
Your Proverbial Bungee Cord
How do you jumpstart your day and what is your proverbial bungee cord? Is it your buddy with whom you go to the gym, increasing your chance of showing up? Is it your daily value clarification/ focusing before you start each day? How do you want to show up today?
Embodying Your Vision
See it, embody it, feel it. Don’t leave anything out. Spend some time with it, feeling it. What do you feel throughout and when reaching your goal, crossing the finish line? Be specific.
Visualizing Presence
Want to be more present with your family? Visualize what that looks like. What do you do when you wake up? How do you interact when you wake up or come home? Define it so you can implement it. Is it a warm greeting? Is it mellow but sufficiently upbeat music when you wake up? What is it? What does it look like and what helps you execute it?
Writing Down Your Desires
Driving Your Desire for Change
What is driving your desire for change? Writing this down, along with the benefits of the desired change can also be helpful. We even reflect on any anticipated negatives and obstacles we assume or fear will show up. Keep it real. This all helps us create an effective roadmap, answer objections and ultimately see how it works out at the end.
Outlining Small Steps
Be sure to outline small daily steps to put into action.
- What will you do tomorrow?
- What’s the next right thing?
Reach Out for Support
We are happy to help you develop this roadmap, explore your values and what matters most to you, and a strategy to reach your goals. Reach out. Our clients embark on their journey to change 365 days/ year.